Healing Anger

Anger is a basic denial of acknowledging some other feeling which we dont want to feel. Its a denial of wanting to feel pain, helplessness,powerlessness and a fear of loss of control and safety. We try to evade seeing and acknowledging a very painful feeling within. And in that evasion arises fear and then arises anger.   On the surface anger feels much easier to don, not realising its the hardest to remove and heal.  

Anger is a denial that is upturned into something that replaces the inner feeling of powerlessness and helplessness to that of focussed power and control. We want to hurl onto others, the pain that we don’t want to see in ourselves. Generally, it is inflicted on the person who triggered us the violation of what we perceived as a space that is safe, validated and in control within us.

Learning to identify, acknowledging and simply feeling fully, the pain of  helplessness, powerlessness , disapproval and loneliness beneath the layer of anger,  is a path to heal a lot of anger within. And thereafter it might turn into something more beneficial and wholesome like assertiveness, forgiveness, loving kindness and more than anything, to compassion.

Compassion can arise easily when we know how to feel all of a range of feelings right within us, without denial. It is ‘com’-passion…a feeling of co-suffering, can only arise when we are familiar with how other’s pain or joy might feel within us. Without that, a compassion is not quite so authentic. 
To feel compassionate towards another, it seems essential to know, what makes one helplessly angry or greedy or manipulative or self-centered or cruel or foolish or just about anything else; to know and feel the helplessness and pain beneath those dark unwholesomeness. When compassion is authentic, there is no better healing that can take place in the person who is feeling compassionate as well as the person who receives that love. When compassion is not authentic, it can be so clearly felt by the other person as artificial, self-righteous or condescending and it doesn’t quite touch them or us either.
Check something similar down here, and more picturesque:
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4 Responses to Healing Anger

  1. Pat Cegan says:

    Good write on anger…such an important emotion. I have linked you to a poem I wrote on anger and posted it on Source of Inspiration. Thanks, hugs, pat

    • shalini says:

      Thanks Pat. Indeed understanding and healing anger is so important. I went through some of your poems, they are inspiring. Thanks to you too.

  2. Pingback: Anger=Fear | Source of Inspiration

  3. Pingback: Anger & Bargaining–the 3rd stage of dealing with an affair « AFFAIRCARE

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