Anger is a basic denial of acknowledging some other feeling which we dont want to feel. Its a denial of wanting to feel pain, helplessness,powerlessness and a fear of loss of control and safety. We try to evade seeing and acknowledging a very painful feeling within. And in that evasion arises fear and then arises anger. On the surface anger feels much easier to don, not realising its the hardest to remove and heal.
Anger is a denial that is upturned into something that replaces the inner feeling of powerlessness and helplessness to that of focussed power and control. We want to hurl onto others, the pain that we don’t want to see in ourselves. Generally, it is inflicted on the person who triggered us the violation of what we perceived as a space that is safe, validated and in control within us.
Compassion can arise easily when we know how to feel all of a range of feelings right within us, without denial. It is ‘com’-passion…a feeling of co-suffering, can only arise when we are familiar with how other’s pain or joy might feel within us. Without that, a compassion is not quite so authentic.