Part 2 – Understanding Emotional Framework in self and others

Let us briefly understand each of these drives:

    1. Significance/importance : It is this drive that makes us want to feel important, want to feel approved and acknowledged by others. It reflects as wanting titles, recognition, fame, wealth, status for the sake of gaining a ‘position’ in a community or society.
    2. Security and Control : It is the drive to make ourselves feel secure whether in wealth or comfort or emotions. It is this drive that plays a major role in our drive towards ‘saving for future’ or ‘going beyond our comfort zone’ or being risk-averse or risk-friendly. We want to feel the need for predictability and stay in control of our situations and people due to this need.
    3. Diversity and Change: It is the drive to break out of repetitiveness and routine, it’s the drive to actively seek out new experiences in life, whether that be in sports, or in work, or in relationships or in simple recreational ventures and experiences.
    4. Love and Belonging : It is the drive to feel a sense of belonging, to feel loved , to feel warmth, to love , to share and care, to be kind. It is the same drive that leads us to jealousy, possessiveness or emotional manipulation.
    5. Personal Growth and Evolution : It is the drive to seek to improve ourselves, to grow and evolve, to seek truth and wisdom, to seek skill improvement in any area.
    6. Achievement and Challenge: Its is the drive or orientation to achieve more and more higher things, to engage in endeavours that actively challenge our capabilities, skills and emotions and aim for ‘higher’ in terms of achieving results and goals.
    7. Excellence and  Quality: It is the drive to perform a little higher than expected, the passion for fine quality whether that be in work or sports or love or recreation or art.
    8. Contribution and Service: It is the drive to ‘make a difference’,  to ‘value-add’, to ‘be of service’ to others. This does not necessarily encompass only voluntary service or charity, but just the need to add value even in a paid job.

We all KNOW all this, yet, in our awareness, there is no discernment or conscious awareness of whether we act out of this or that need more than others. Often   we have values that are contradictory to the deep-set needs out of which we act and decide and because of this, we tend to make half-hearted efforts or resign ourselves or worse sabotage ourselves unconsciously.  Many times we tend to act under the overwhelming control of certain self-sabotaging beliefs which have emerged out of our deep unconscious drives and needs.

Understanding our needs and how we rank or prioritize it deep down vs how we prioritize it in terms of how we WANT it to be, leads us to more clarity in our decisions and resolves inner conflict. Also if we learn the art of understanding what drives other people, then our interpersonal communication and decision-making  improve to yield us more effective outcomes.

Take a free assessment to evaluate your need for significance/importance ( Click on the link, and again click on the link on the page that opens up, to download the assessment. You need to have Microsoft Office installed on your computer to take this assessment )

Part 1
Part 3

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