In the heat of the moment!

Self-Awareness and Self-Regulation of Emotions , Exercising Emotional Intelligence

  1. Sometimes, our work , out time, that dinner outing or simply a night’s peaceful sleep gets inflicted with emotions and thoughts, especially so in times of drastic life change events.  We might get consumed by intense fear, depression, anger or a host of other nameable or unnameable disruptive emotions.  If we develop the skill to simply know the nature of these emotions and thoughts, then it might be possible for us to liberate ourselves from the thoughts and its charge( well … that’s emotions ) with more self-awareness.

Everytime you seem to be consumed by negative thoughts and charged emotions, here are some tips for you to remember right at that heat of the moment, to bust the heat and reach a cooler state of mind:

  1. Don’t act/decide/communicate: Firmly make a strong determination not to act or decide or communicate however much you might feel tempted to do so, when you are in a negative state of mind.  If its very difficult make a conscious action which is very mild and does not in anyway affect you or others in any intense way for long term.  You can distract yourself, if nothing else happens, but determine not to  make decisions/actions when you are consumed by negative emotions is a strict No-no.
  2. Calm through Body Intelligence:  Observe where you are feeling the emotions within your body .  You might feel a burning or tingling sensation, just observe them with curiosity.  Observe your breathing simultaneously: is it long, short, fast, slow?  Do this for as long a  time as you can focus. In fact force your focus more on to breathing than your thoughts or your emotions. Does the breathing change with your state of mind? Does your sensations change? Be curious while you watch, the relationship between your body and mind. This might be more effective than you realise, if you give it a fair trial,  than to dwell in your emotions or act on it
  3. Acknowledge : Take stock of your state of mind. If its filled with fear, anger, jealousy, irritation, etc, accept and acknowledge it fully. It is ok to have them. Do not beat yourself.  Accept and love yourself despite the dark emotions. Believe that they will pass, if you simply be with it.
  4. Refuse to Believe :  In a negative state of mind, its like wearing a colored glass through which you look at the world and its generally distorted. Even if some thoughts seem to be absolutely logical, they will not be empowering and mostly will reside in the victim realm and not a victor realm.  If you know you are in a negative state, simply refuse to believe the thoughts and postpone considering the thoughts carefully to a later time.
  5. Counter thoughts: Try to add counter thoughts. If a thought springs up which says, he/she is really cruel, try to think maybe not. If a thought springs up which says, ‘I am so dumb’, bust it with a counter thought ‘Maybe I am dumb now, but I am smart enough to bounce back’… it can be anything. Just a simple ‘I don’t believe it’ is a counter thought. A sense of humor can work wonders. Practice generating love or check out Ho’oponopono ( at this blogspot here ).

Another very simple tip to remember during a negative emotional state,  as listed by  Ezra Bayda  author of Beyond Happiness: A Zen Way to True Contentment.

  • Awaken aspiration
  • Awaken curiosity
  • Awaken humor
  • Awaken loving kindness
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