Say, your drive in your work is ‘security’, while your ‘achievement’ is what drives your boss. When you are aware of this, it will be possible for you to communicate to your boss in such a way that it fulfils his expectation of achievement. At the same time, you can make it clear to him about your need for security and evoke his understanding in that respect.
Compare that to a person, who just knows that there is some kind of a vague fear in him of his future and instead of expressing it to the boss, he just complains to others, frets and fumes with his boss. And finally resigns to thinking that his boss ‘just doesn’t understand’ and assumes he has a ‘selfish’ boss.
Say you want to communicate an important decision to your spouse or family. First be aware of what need it is fulfilling for yourself and what need it might threaten and/or fulfil in your spouse or family members. If we communicate based on this awareness, the chances of misunderstandings are lesser and the chances of it being accepted is higher. Discussions are more meaningful, compassionate and intelligent.
Each person’s priority or ranking of his/her emotional drive/need in different personal and professional circumstances are different. Some might rank ‘love and belonging’ highest when it comes to family, some might rank ‘security’ highest. The same person could rank ‘achievement’ as highest in his profession, while another could rank ‘contribution’ as highest. Understanding these differences is also a key to improve our circle of tolerance and our serenity in handling situations.
You are called to make a decision or make an important communication or change, personal or professional. Ask yourself these questions after drawing out options:
If I prioritize my needs and analyse how will each option fulfil them, which would be my best decision? How is my decision going to affect the needs of the people or stakeholders involved? Will it suck somebody’s need and prove my decision counter-productive? Can I afford to compromise on a need of mine, to fulfil another? If I take this option, how will it affect all my emotional drives , what will I gain and what will I loose in terms of fulfilment of my drives?
Take a free assessment to evaluate your need for significance/importance ( Click on the link, and again click on the link on the page that opens up, to download the assessment. You need to have Microsoft Office installed on your computer to take this assessment )
Be Happy, Be Serene 